In a shocking announcement this week, Big Pharma revealed they have completed the testing on a new version of the DTaP vaccine which does not cause autism.
“This is a big step for us, and something we have never done before” said Dr. Em Emmar. “We didn’t think we would ever do it, create a vaccine that doesn’t cause autism, but we did.”
Big Pharma is confident that the rest of their vaccines will cause enough autism to keep up the current rates they want in America.
However, many people are reasonably skeptical about the whole thing, not believing for a second that Big Pharma would ever create such a vaccine.
“There is no way, this is just another big lie” said anti-vaccer Meryl Dorey. “Never believe anything Big Pharma says. Unless is something negative about a drug or vaccine, always believe that.”
The new DTaP vaccine will be available starting in early 2016.
