“We’ve been using alternative facts for years” say anti-vaccers, homeopaths

HPV Vaccine

WASHINGTON, DC – Anti-vaccers are upset that the Trump administration is getting all kinds of press and attention for using what they call “alternative facts” when in fact they have been using them for years.

“We were one of the first groups to use alternative facts and have used them for years,” said Sherri Tenpenny, unpublished anti-vaccine osteopath. “It’s a little ridiculous that Trump and the lot are getting all this attention for it.”

Many alternative medicine outfits have relied on alterative facts for their entire careers and some whole professions are based on it such as anti-vaccine, anti-GMO, naturopathy, homeopathy, reiki, faith healing, etc. The fact that all of sudden it has become “mainstream” to use alternative facts is rubbing several of them the wrong way.

“The entire premise of homeopathy is based on alternative facts, that’s a fact” said Dan Ullman, homeopath. “If we used real, scientific facts our whole empire would crumble.”

After the Trump camp claimed that they were using their own alternative facts when discussing things like the size of Trumps inauguration crowds and hand size, the entire alt med community took notice.

“We are planning an alternative facts march on Washington,” said Ullman. “By homeopathic calculations it will be the biggest most powerful march in human history.


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