WASHINGTON, DC – The United States Democracy has been admitted to the intensive care unit at Washington General Hospital and is currently in critical condition.
“We have Democracy on life support right now and things are pretty touch and go,” said Dr. Raymond Quinlin. “Depending on how things go over the next few weeks and months will really go a long way in determining Democracy’s fate.”
Democracy has been on a slow decline since early 2017, with recent events really taking its toll.
“Democracy was doing OK for awhile there, actually quite well to be honest,” said Dr. Quinlin. “However, recent events – including an invasion by a foreign body – have caused severe damage to the core of US Democracy.”
Many remain hopeful that Democracy can make a comeback and have a full recovery, however some remain very pessimistic. That may be changing however with a new line of treatment known as Muellerbiotics on its way which may offer some hope.
“With the introduction of Muellerbiotics, we have seen some marginal improvement in Democracy’s status and we are cautiously optimistic that this treatment can work for US Democracy,” explained Quinlin.