CLEVELAND, OH – Fresh off the latest presidential debate, Donald Trump announced if he is elected president he will personally re-do the recommended childhood vaccine schedule, science be damned.
“As President, I’m going to make vaccines great again,” said Trump. “I don’t care what science and doctors say, they’re losers. Science is for losers. I’ll remake the childhood vaccine schedule as I want to.”
This news understandably has many vaccine and science literate people worried.
“Even though the president doesn’t have the power to change the childhood vaccine schedule as Mr. Trump thinks, it is still a concern if our president is anti-science,” said David Gorac, physician and vaccine advocate. “It would be like having Mike Adams in charge of the FDA, it’s ridiculous.”
Donald Trump seems to think that the president of the United States is all powerful and has carte blanche to do whatever he or she pleases.
“I will rewrite science textbooks, history textbooks, whatever I want when I’m president. I don’t care if there is decades upon decades of scientific evidence that the vaccine schedule works and saves lives, if I think otherwise then I’m right. I’m the president.”
Many anti-vaccine cult members are behind the move and have now fully committed to voting for Trump.
“I mean he was already convincing me to vote for him with all his racism, and this just clinches it for me,” said Tim Tanner, anti-vaccer. “I really hope we can get a president in there who finally is brave enough to take on Big Pharma, science and common sense.”