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flu

Pfizer announces new vaccine to protect against vaccine injuries

in Big Pharma by

Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer announced today that they would be debuting a new vaccine in early 2016 to protect against vaccine injuries. “The vaccine works like most other vaccines, with the shot containing weakened versions of vaccine injuries like encephalitis, MS and of course autism,” explained…

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Study: Excessive masturbation may protect against the flu

in News by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

A new study released today from JAMA, The Journal of the American Masturbation Association, concluded that people who excessively masturbate are less likely to contract influenza.

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"The flu shot turned my son straight!" claims grieving mother

in News by

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Elaine Smith is beside herself with grief after she believes that this years annual flu vaccine changed her son from a normal homosexual young man into a sexually perverse heterosexual. “Jamie was always a fun, energetic and very caring young man,”…

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Anti-vaccine cult leaders hold online meeting to prep members for flu season

in Vaccines by

A who’s who of the anti-vaccine cult, namely Billy DeMoss, Jenny McCarthy, Andrew Wakefield, Joseph Mercola and Sherri Tenpenny, held an internet press conference/webinar to prep their minions for what to expect this flu season. Highlights of the meeting included:   “Most of our members’…

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Anti-vaccer stocks up on essential oils and kale in preparation for flu season

in Alt Med by

Anti-vaccine mother of two Megan Reynolds is busy getting prepared for the upcoming flu season. “If I’m honest, I’ve probably spent over $500 on flu-fighting oils, supplements and kale,”  laughed Reynolds. “Nothing is too good for my kids. Except the scientific consensus that the flu…

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Flu shot a poor match for anti-vaccers again this year

in Vaccines by

Once again, the flu shot is worthless to anti-vaccers. With an estimated effectiveness rate of less than 100%, the flu shot is being written off as another monumental failure by anti-vaccine advocates. “Why would I inject myself or my kids with something that is less…

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