Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer announced today that they would be debuting a new vaccine in early 2016 to protect against vaccine injuries. “The vaccine works like most other vaccines, with the shot containing weakened versions of vaccine injuries like encephalitis, MS and of course autism,” explained Pfizer’s head of drug discovery Dr. Walter Black. “We are […]
A new study released today from JAMA, The Journal of the American Masturbation Association, concluded that people who excessively masturbate are less likely to contract influenza.
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Elaine Smith is beside herself with grief after she believes that this years annual flu vaccine changed her son from a normal homosexual young man into a sexually perverse heterosexual. “Jamie was always a fun, energetic and very caring young man,” recalls Mrs. Smith. “But since this years flu vaccine he […]
A who’s who of the anti-vaccine cult, namely Billy DeMoss, Jenny McCarthy, Andrew Wakefield, Joseph Mercola and Sherri Tenpenny, held an internet press conference/webinar to prep their minions for what to expect this flu season. Highlights of the meeting included: “Most of our members’ children will get the flu: this is a good thing! […]
Anti-vaccine mother of two Megan Reynolds is busy getting prepared for the upcoming flu season. “If I’m honest, I’ve probably spent over $500 on flu-fighting oils, supplements and kale,” laughed Reynolds. “Nothing is too good for my kids. Except the scientific consensus that the flu shot is your best defense against the flu of course.” […]
Once again, the flu shot is worthless to anti-vaccers. With an estimated effectiveness rate of less than 100%, the flu shot is being written off as another monumental failure by anti-vaccine advocates. “Why would I inject myself or my kids with something that is less than 100% effective?” asked anti-vaccer Frankie Petitte. “It’s the same […]