Pfizer announces new vaccine to protect against vaccine injuries

Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer announced today that they would be debuting a new vaccine in early 2016 to protect against vaccine injuries.

“The vaccine works like most other vaccines, with the shot containing weakened versions of vaccine injuries like encephalitis, MS and of course autism,” explained Pfizer’s head of drug discovery Dr. Walter Black. “We are hoping this will give parents some piece of mind.”

Of course, no vaccine is 100% safe and effective and Pfizer admits that there is a small chance the vaccine injury vaccine may provide protection against diphtheria and tetanus as a side effect.

“This a great news, I’m really happy Big Pharma is waking up and realizing vaccine injuries are a real problem,” said glorified anti-vaccine blogger Jacob Crosby.

Pfizer is lobbying the CDC to add the new vaccine to the routine childhood immunization schedule.

 

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