FURLONG, MT – Local hobbyist and amateur farmer Rob Richardson was surprised and shocked when his front door was kicked in and five men dressed in army fatigues stormed through. Reports indicate the agents were from Monsanto and were acting on a tip that Richardson was using their copyrighted seeds in his backyard garden.
“It was terrifying,” said a clearly shaken Richardson. “They kicked down my door, shoved me and my wife out of the way and raced through the house to the backyard. They destroyed my little garden plot I had back there and took everything. They warned me to never plant anything again.”
Monsanto is known for vehemently defending their copyrighted seeds, often charging unsuspecting farmers with lawsuits which usually ends with the farmer’s death.
“We will not tolerate anyone using our seeds to grow anything” said Monsanto Agent, Mr. Pink. “Even if we’re not sure we will go and destroy the crops/gardens anyways. We don’t want people growing their own food and taking money from our pockets.”
Richardson contacted the local police but they were of little help: “As soon as I mentioned the word Monsanto, the police seemed to get scared and hung up the phone.”
Monsanto confirmed to The Spudd that they will continue to be ruthless in their pursuit of unauthorized seed use.