PORTLAND, ME – Local homeopath Paul Thero is celebrating after going a whole week with no patient deaths. Thero is taking his entire staff out to Chipotle’s after work to enjoy some non-GMO snacks and homeopathic lagers.
“Wow, what a week” exclaimed Thero. “Usually we get a least a few patients a week die because they came to me instead of seeking real medical attention…but not this week baby!”
The clinic in Portland, Maine is one of a handful of clinics which has been investigated numerous times by the FDA but has managed to elude any disciplinary action to date.
“All we do is offer sugar pills, magic water and nosodes instead of vaccines. Yes, a lot of times our patients end up getting vaccine preventable diseases or even die, but I fail to see how that is our fault.”
Thero and his staff plan on partying well into the night to celebrate this historic week.
