Product review magazine Consumer Reports received the lowest rating from Consumer Reports magazine. Shane Landry, head of electronics testing division explained, “We don’t really understand how this happened. We found our review of our reviews of appliances, automobiles, and electronics to be quite accurate, but in independent tests by ourselves, along with polls of our subscribers, we’ve found that we’ve gone off the deep end when it concerns the safety of the U.S. food supply.”
In addition to an overall anti-science atmosphere outside of non-food product reviews, “Consumer Reports pieces such as ‘Facts About GMOs’ are in opposition to the current pool of available scientific data. They point out that pesticide use is on the rise, fallaciously attributing it to the rise in the use of GMO seeds,” said Consumer Reports’ Landry. “Despite our feelings on our accurate reviews of refrigerators and children’s toys, we must, at this time, give Consumer Reports a worst-buy rating in our fall of 2015 ‘Magazines You Can’t Trust’ magazine.”
It’s unsure how the magazine went from being a reputable source of consumer advocacy, but a source who wishes to remain anonymous told The Spudd, “It all started 13 years ago when they hired this tattooed girl named Butterfly for accounts receivable who won’t quit bitching that meat is murder. She moved up quickly, and she convinced the company to hire her fake scientists friends who are also vegan extremists.”
Consumer Reports has yet to answer calls addressing the poor review of Consumer Reports magazine.
