CDC investigating outbreak of selective amnesia at the White House

white house outbreak

WASHINGTON – The CDC announced today they are launching an investigation in to what they believe is an outbreak of selective amnesia in the White House.

“So far we have at least 10 documented cases, ranging from someones daughter and husband who aren’t even supposed to be there, right up to the president himself,” said Dr. Shirley McClain of the CDC. “We fear the disease may spread through most of the GOP as well.”

The CDC is working with senior officials to try and get a handle on what is going on at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue but so far have had limited success.

“When we tried to enter the premises and conduct our outbreak investigation, our epidemiologists were told they were “fake news” and were not allowed in,” said Dr. McClain. “We later found out that their badges which read ‘CDC’ were misread as ‘CNN’ by White House security.”

While the CDC has not released the names of any of the infected people save the president, rumors are circulating that both Donald Trump Jr. and Reince Priebus have also contracted the disease.

The CDC has attempted to isolate The President to the White House but he is refusing to cooperate and instead insists he spend at least 30% of his days outside of the house golfing.

 

SP Team

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