TORONTO, ON – The students at the Canadian College of Homeopathic Medicine and other faculty members wrote strongly worded letters to the president and dean of the school after it was revealed that lecturer Dr. Rima Ullman was teaching students using real science. The letter, signed by over 13 other faculty members and 200 students, alleges that their education is being undermined by the legitimate science and medicine they are being fed by Dr. Ullman.
An investigation by the school revealed that a course being taught by Ullman was referencing peer-reviewed literature from PubMed, science textbooks, and physics; something homeopathy does not endorse.
“I feel like I’m being cheated,” said student Paul Thero. “I came to this school because I wanted to become a homeopath and make a bunch of money off of desperate people who don’t understand science, not be taught actual science myself.”
The plot thickened when it was discovered that Ullman’s husband is the dean of the online campus. Dr. Mark Ullman claims that no nepotism has taken place and that his wife is fully qualified to teach the course, but did admit he was disappointed that she choose to use science instead of pseudoscience when teaching the course.
The Spudd has learned that Dr. Rima Ullman will not be offering her course again next semester and that her teaching hours have been reduced to a homeopathic level. She will now only teach 0.000000000001 hours a week.
