PEARLTOWN, TX – The SB277 bill, which will force California children to be vaccinated at gunpoint (probably), has set off a firestorm among the small and vocal minority group that is the anti-vaccine movement. A prominent spokesman for the movement, Jack Stone, has threatened to set himself on fire if the bill get passed.
“We are not going to bow, we are not going to bend, and if necessary we will burn” said Stone. “This bill will force dangerous toxins into our children’s bloodstreams, without any choice. We will not stand for this.”
Many anti-vaccine cult members are supportive of Stone, but are stopping short of threatening to light themselves on fire.
“I support Mr. Stone and believe anything he writes on his Age of Autism blog, but I am not prepared to light myself on fire. I will continue to fight against SB277 by posting comments in various anti-vaccine echo chambers and tweeting out pseudoscience and lies, you know the usual.”
Members of the rational world are insisting that Mr. Stone not go through with his plan. “I really hope he doesn’t do this” said Dr. Nile Tyson, pharma shill. “It is really not necessary. If science illiterate parents still refuse to vaccinate their children, they have the option to home school them. I don’t think one needs to go as far as lighting oneself on fire.”
Mr. Stone is apparently adamant in his plan for self-immolation.
We will keep you updated if any of our burning questions get answered.
