Alternative Homeopathy is the newest craze among physicians

Alternative Homeopathy is the newest craze among physicians

NEW YORK, NY – The medical world is abuzz with its latest trend: Alternative Homeopathy.

“Basically Alternative Homeopathy is the opposite of traditional homeopathy in that it contains active ingredients,” explained Dr. Andrew Garland. “We found that by having actual ingredients in medicines really made them much more effective.”

While homeopathy traditionally relies on something to do with water having memory or something something magic sugar pills, alternative homeopathy relies on real medical ingredients. This is not going over well with classically trained homeopaths:

“I didn’t spend almost 3 years studying the magic of water just to be told that medicine needs to have active ingredients,” said homeopath Dan Allman. “The whole basis of our business, I mean healing system, is that there are no active ingredients. That’s what makes it so safe.”

Admittedly, alternative homeopathy does have the potential to cause side effects and even cure people, unlike regular homeopathy.

“Homeopathy is exceedingly safe,” explained Allman. “The only time it is unsafe is when something goes wrong and some ingredient in the medicine is actually present.”

Homeopaths are planning a protest in New York City later this week with an estimated 0.000000000000001 people attending.

  • Da Bright

    Tooo fucking good

  • Suprajit Biswas

    Why calling it alternative homoeopathy it might be called alternative allopathy too. In lower potency homoeopathy remedies contain ingredients and they are used too to heal people.

    • they are used to heal people make money by charging big markups on preparations that cost virtually nothing to make and aren’t held to any manufacturing standards whatsoever.

  • Tigger_the_Wing
  • Homeopathy is a department of medicine originated in Germany based on the Principle of Similars and a non-toxic system of western medical science of therapeutics. Details at https://drnancymalik.wordpress.com

    • Chris

      Homeopathy has not changed in two hundred years, and Nancy Malik has not changed her spamming ways in over five years.

      We all know that there is no reason to let her have our wallets when can make our own:

      Recipe for Nat Mur or Natrum Mur or Natrium Mur or Natrum muriaticum:

      1) Take ½ teaspoon of sea salt and dissolve into 1 cup of distilled water in a bottle.

      2) Shake well.

      3) This is a 1C solution (ratio 1/100).

      4) Take ½ teaspoon of the 1C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 1C solution.

      5) Shake well.

      6) This is a 2C solution (ratio 1/10000).

      7) Take ½ teaspoon of the 2C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 2C solution.

      8) Shake well.

      9) This is a 3C solution (ratio 1/1000000).

      10) Take ½ teaspoon of the 3C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 3C solution.

      11) Shake well.

      12) This is a 4C solution (ratio 1/100000000).

      13) Take ½ teaspoon of the 4C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 4C solution.

      14) Shake well.

      15) This is a 5C solution (ratio 1/10000000000).

      16) Take ½ teaspoon of the 5C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 5C solution.

      17) Shake well.

      18) This is a 6C solution (ratio 1/1000000000000).

      19) Take ½ teaspoon of the 6C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 6C solution.

      20) Shake well.

      21) This is a 7C solution (ratio 1/100000000000000).

      22) Take ½ teaspoon of the 7C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 7C solution.

      23) Shake well.

      24) This is an 8C solution (ratio 1/10000000000000000).

      25) Take ½ teaspoon of the 8C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 8C solution.

      26) Shake well.

      27) This is a 9C solution (ratio 1/1000000000000000000).

      28) Take ½ teaspoon of the 9C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 9C solution.

      29) Shake well.

      30) This is a 10C solution (ratio 1/100000000000000000000).

      31) Take ½ teaspoon of the 10C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 10C solution.

      32) Shake well.

      33) This is a 11C solution (ratio 1/10000000000000000000000).

      34) Take ½ teaspoon of the 11C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 11C solution.

      35) Shake well.

      36) This is a 12C solution (ratio 1/1000000000000000000000000).

      37) Take ½ teaspoon of the 12C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 12C solution.

      38) Shake well.

      39) This is a 13C solution (ratio 1/100000000000000000000000000).

      40) Take ½ teaspoon of the 13C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 13C solution.

      41) Shake well.

      42) This is a 14C solution (ratio 1/10000000000000000000000000000).

      43) Take ½ teaspoon of the 14C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 14C solution.

      44) Shake well.

      45) This is a 15C solution (ratio 1/1000000000000000000000000000000).

      46) Take ½ teaspoon of the 15C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 15C solution.

      47) Shake well.

      48) This is a 16C solution (ratio 1/100000000000000000000000000000000).

      49) Take ½ teaspoon of the 16C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 16C solution.

      50) Shake well.

      51) This is a 17C solution (ratio 1/10000000000000000000000000000000000).

      52) Take ½ teaspoon of the 17C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 17C solution.

      53) Shake well.

      54) This is an 18C solution (ratio 1/1000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      55) Take ½ teaspoon of the 18C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 18C solution.

      56) Shake well.

      57) This is a 19C solution (ratio 1/100000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      58) Take ½ teaspoon of the 19C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 19C solution.

      59) Shake well.

      60) This is a 20C solution (ratio 1/10000000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      61) Take ½ teaspoon of the 20C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 20C solution.

      62) Shake well.

      63) This is a 21C solution (ratio 1 in 10^42 or 1/1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      64) Take ½ teaspoon of the 21C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 21C solution.

      65) Shake well.

      66) This is a 22C solution (ratio 1 in 10^44 or 1/100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      67) Take ½ teaspoon of the 22C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 22C solution.

      68) Shake well.

      69) This is a 23C solution (ratio 1 in 10^46 or 1/10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      70) Take ½ teaspoon of the 23C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 23C solution.

      71) Shake well.

      72) This is a 24C solution (ratio 1 in 10^48 or 1/1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      73) Take ½ teaspoon of the 24C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 24C solution.

      74) Shake well.

      75) This is a 25C solution (ratio 1 in 10^50 or 1/100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      76) Take ½ teaspoon of the 25C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 25C solution.

      77) Shake well.

      78) This is a 26C solution (ratio 1 in 10^52 or 1/10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      79) Take ½ teaspoon of the 26C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 26C solution.

      80) Shake well.

      81) This is a 27C solution (ratio 1 in 10^54 or 1/1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000).
      (the zeros are running off of the page!)

      82) Take ½ teaspoon of the 27C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 27C solution.

      83) Shake well.

      84) This is a 28C solution (ratio 1 in 10^56 or 1/100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      85) Take ½ teaspoon of the 28C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 28C solution.

      86) Shake well.

      87) This is a 29C solution (ratio 1 in 10^58 or 1/10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      88) Take ½ teaspoon of the 29C solution and put it a bottle with 1 cup of distilled water, throw out the 29C solution.

      89) Shake well.

      90) This is a 30C solution (ratio 1 in 10^60 or 1/1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000).

      And then you are done! To make the pills, go to baking center of your grocery store and get some plain cake decorating sprinkles. You can try dropping some of the solution on the sprinkles, or just set the bottle next to the solution for it to absorb the energy (which is the typical method used for over the counter homeopathic remedies).

      You can make up other remedies by knowing what the mother tincture is… For instance “Nux Vomica” (or Nux Vom) is from the Nux Vomica plant which contains the poison strychnine, Nux Sulph uses sulpher, and the stuff advertised on the radio for colds, Oscillococcinum is from duck bits.

      • Homeopathic Medicines are prepared through a specific pharmacological process of potentisation which results in nanograms of fine nanoparticles of the original starting material in the final product (upto 200c potency) administered in treatment of a disease. Checkout the process in detail at https://drnancymalik.wordpress.com/article/science-based-pharmacy/

        • shay simmons

          Downvoted and flagged for spam.

        • Chris

          So what? It is still worth bunch of nothing.

          And you are still a spammer.

    • shay simmons

      Downvoted/flagged for spam.

      • Principle of Similars: The drug which manifest the “likeness” i.e. most likely to cure or relieve a case of disease is that which when administered to a healthy person, has shown itself capable of producing symptoms and change in sensation experienced which most closely resemble those of the case of disease. Details at https://drnancymalik.wordpress.com/article/homeopathy-explained/

        • shay simmons

          Downvoted/flagged for spam.