Women diagnosed via Google with Chronic Lyme and Morgellons Disease, essential oils now only hope

science, health, satire, vaccines.

SAN JOSE, CA – Things just keep getting worse for Nancy Ballmer, 44, who was recently diagnosed via a Google search with both Chronic Lyme Disease and Morgellons Disease, and she must now rely on her knowledge and that of her spiritual guru and homeopath to save her life.

“I’m at my wits’ end. I’ve tried Reiki, yoga, meditation, everything. The only hope I have left is essential oils,” explained Ballmer.

Ballmer’s spiritual guru is homeopath and friend “Dr.” Paul Ullman, who has been with her through thick and thin.

“I have been friends with Nancy for years, always trying to help her out as best I can. Whether she needs supplements, herbs, medicine, anything. I was always there willing to sell her some,” explained Ullman. “I am now trying to secure her the best price for my essential oils. That’s the difference between holistic and allopathic medicine: we care about our patients.”

Unfortunately, having a double diagnosis of Chronic Lyme Disease and Morgellons not many alternative practitioners are holding out hope for Ms. Ballmer; unless, they say, she comes to see them and buys their better, more expensive essential oils.

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