Raw water may reduce cancer risk, study finds

raw water

In a new study released in the journal Cancer, the new raw water trend may reduce the risk of prostate and breast cancer in eldery patients.

“We have run a few simulation models and found that if people drink enough raw water they have a high probability of contracting giardiasis or even cholera,” said Dr. Neil Stephens, co-author of the study. “Assuming that some of these patients die, they will therefor never contract cancer.”

The raw water trend is sweeping the nation, from California to Maine, with people actually paying money to drink unfiltered and untreated water.

“I want to drink water the way our ancestors did,” says local hipster Skye Harrington. “They didn’t have any of these chemicals like fluoride in their water and they were just fine (apart from the dysentery and all that stuff).”

Many mommy bloggers and natural health gurus are trying to get in on the trend, quickly collecting water from nearby lakes and rivers and selling it to their patients in between chakra alignments.

“I’ve always been a fan of raw water, so like, I totally believe in this stuff,” said Naturopath Paul Therrault. “I’m just glad that my patients have finally caught on and I am able to sell it to them at $7 a bottle. You’re welcome.”

With news that raw water may also reduce the risk of certain cancers, the trend is sure to continue.


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