In an announcement that stunned neuro-oncologists worldwide, investigators from the University of Florida announced that radishes failed to cure a patient with anaplastic oligodendrogliomas. The rare cancer affects about 10,000 Americans annually and is usually fatal in 3 years or less.
“We had high hopes that radishes would cure this cancer, since every other herb, fruit, spice, and vegetable we have studied has cured literally every type of cancer,” said Dr. Rich Howan, the lead investigator on the study.
“Did garlic cure subependymal giant cell astrocytomas? Of course it did! Do blueberries cure juvenile pilocytic astrocytomas? Of course they do! So naturally we were surprised beyond all belief to find radishes ineffective in curing this type of cancer.”
Investigators told The Spudd they are pouring over data and re-evaluating the entire study design to see what could have produced such unexpected findings.
“Right now, we believe the fields where the radishes were grown had been previously sprayed with RoundUp. This was developed by Monsanto and would entirely explain our anomalous results,” Dr. Howan told The Spudd.
