Pretentious, gluten-free, anti-GMO daughter devours gluten-filled, GMO supper and doesn’t notice

Pretentious, gluten-free, anti-GMO daughter devours gluten-filled, GMO supper and doesn’t notice

FRESNO, CA – Becky Haskell was back from college for the Thanksgiving holiday and was happy to sit down with her family for a delicious turkey dinner. She did, however, have some concerns.

“I told my whole family that I no longer eat gluten or GMOs” explained Becky. “I’ve learned so much in my first two months of college, like I know more about science and stuff than almost everyone I know.”

Becky’s mom was reportedly not happy about the situation, worried she would have to cook two separate meals. That’s when she had an idea.

“I told Becky that her father, brothers and I would honor her request and all eat gluten-free, non-GMO foods for our holiday meal,” said Mrs. Haskell. “But in reality, I didn’t do anything at all. I cooked the same dinner I always do and just told her it was all natural or whatever.”

According to sources close to the Haskell’s, Becky ate two full plates and declared it to be the best Thanksgiving meal she has ever had.

“I really hope this proves to everyone that gluten-free, non-GMO food can be just as good, if not better, than the toxic food all the sheep eat.”


  • Jenna McCoy

    Parenting done right!

  • Jenna McCoy

    I know this is satire, but I wonder just how many parents did this very thing to their pretentious, scientifically illiterate children…

    • Rachael

      I would, but I would hope my kids (if I have kids) wouldn’t become that scientifically illiterate.

  • The only problem with doing this is if the woman were gluten intolerant because she had celiac sprue.

    • Chris

      That is a real diagnosis, and if she was like those who I know who have celiac sprue, they would know very well after dinner. Also, their daughter would also be regaling her parents on the extensive testing done to confirm the diagnosis (which, to be honest is not easy).

    • Adam Anders

      And they would have known about that long before she went to college.

      • Chris

        Not exactly, the symptoms can turn up later. One person I know with celiac was diagnosed in college, just after her father had been diagnosed way past college. It is just that there are several tests that need to turn up positive. I am way past college, and my symptoms were like celiac (and a few other disorders, also ruled out). Except the objective lab tests and colonoscopy ruled it out. TMI?

        As I said, it is not an easy diagnosis. But having a fairly healthy colon pretty much rules it out. Self diagnosis does not count.

      • Actually the condition can arise at any time. My mother-in-law didn’t have this problem in she was in her 60’s.

  • THX1138

    But was she allergic to the tap water?

  • AGWag99

    I will admit to having done that. More than once. Ever had a dinner guest on the “endometriosis diet?” Amazingly, eating a whole dinner full of “no” foods had NO effect whatsoever on her symptoms, even days later. Go figure.