PHOENIX, AZ – A tragic accident that could have been avoided took the lives of all 163 people on board the Boeing 737 bound for Phoenix. The plane crashed on the runway amid a huge cloud of chemical smoke and fire.

“We managed to recover the flight recorder and the black box” said the National Transportation Safety Board’s Daryl Dawe. “We were able to pinpoint exactly what went wrong: the pilot failed to switch off the chemtrails on landing. It is virtually impossible to land an aircraft as big as a 737 while at the same time blowing out geoengineering chemical trails.”

United Airlines is staying quiet about the whole chemtrail finding, instead saying it was a mechanical error. Two men in black suits were seem leaving the United Airlines PR department moments before the press conference.

“We are saddened by the loss of the 163 people on board the aircraft. It was an unfortunate mechanical error which could not have been prevented,” said United’s Mark Waller.

Chemtrail truthers the world over are shouting this story from the rooftops, but unfortunately the truth behind the crash is only being reported by satire sites and conspiracy theory blogs.

“Of course the mainstream media is not going to cover this story” said chemtrail expert Danny Crane. “The Illuminati, Big Pharma and Monsanto control all major media outlets. Except for YouTube, we can still post our videos on there. I’m not sure why they haven’t shut that down yet to be honest.”

 

SP Team
Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.
  • Blackdeep

    How stupid to you have to be to believe this crap?

    • Chris

      Very. Especially since at the top right of this page under the big bold “ABOUT US” it says “The Spudd is your number 1 source for fake science news, delivering the 47th best satire on the web.”

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  • Sam Jenkins

    Is this site intended to be funny, or just a smarmy appeal to authority by (((skeptics)))? I am trying to visualize the type of insufferable, fedora-tipping asshole that unironically reads this site. Makes me want to huff some chemtrails and kill myself.

    • Chris

      Do whatever suits your fancy. Though if it affects your mental health, you may want to stay away from the internet and talk to someone because its is content making your suffer.

      Perhaps you need to go to other more hilarious sites. May I suggest the XKCD comics and this article: http://www.popularmechanics.com/culture/a21919/conspiracy-theory-cruise/

      Also, I am really dismayed that the MRA jerks have made a perfectly good hat style distasteful. I really thought it would be cool to add one to an outfit with a Chanel style jacket to be similar to Agent Peggy Carter, but daughter told me not to!! Apparently even women like me are being mistaken for these jerks due to wearing a perfectly good hat. Perhaps that is why the “Agent Carter” series was canceled, because a strong capable woman wore a fedora.

    • Sam Jenkins

      Addendum: Chemtrails are sprayed from planes which Boeing contracts out to the government. The sprayer system sticks out of the window plug and is removable. The planes have no passengers. Doubt me? Here is photographic evidence of the equipment installed on a 737:

      https://chemtrailsplanet.net/2015/12/04/leaked-photos-of-chemtrail-spraying-system/

      Refute that you statist cocksuckers.

      • Chris

        I am literally laughing at that incredible satire! That is a fantastic Poe!

        Unfortunately a couple of things that gave it away: if it was a “passenger” plane there were no windows. If it is claimed to fly at 10000 feet, where it would be easily seen. How many windowless planes have you seen flying at about a third cruising altitude? Plus, contrails (what you seem to think are “chemtrails”) are also often seen at much higher altitudes than 10000 feet.

        Plus, with Google search I can find sites like this:
        https://www.metabunk.org/exclusive-leaked-photos-of-chemtrail-dispersal-system.t2772/

        So you are either very gullible or very paranoid (especially since you replied to yourself). In any case, seek professional help.

        Actually, that is a serious request. As a former aerospace engineer I think your beliefs are comical, but as a mother of adult children who seem to be near your age, your comments are very disturbing. I really don’t care what you think of aircraft exhaust, the fact you think reading a satirical site makes you suffer enough to say “kill myself” is not healthy.

        Whatever you do, it would be best for both of us if you just stayed away from this satirical site. For an alternative I would suggest you take some basic physics and chemistry, and perhaps learn some critical thinking.

        • Sam Jenkins

          Ken:

          “Oil dispersants”, suuuure. Whatever helps you sleep at night buddy.

          Chris:

          So let me get this straight, holding a completely plausible opinion that you disagree with makes me ‘mentally ill’? Classy. I’ll bet you’re just itching to throw me into a reeducation camp right now. Why don’t you stop trying to gaslight me you old Stasi bitch.

          • Chris

            I am not Ken. Get help. You might want to work on your reaction to criticism.

      • https://www.metabunk.org/exclusive-leaked-photos-of-chemtrail-dispersal-system.t2772/#post-78566

        Looks like Commercial Jet’s explanation is that they are for spraying oil dispersant. That seems pretty consistent with the pictures to me.

        • Sam Jenkins

          “Oil dispersants”, suuuure. Whatever helps you sleep at night buddy.

          • Do you know what an oil dispersant is or why aerial spraying might be desirable?