science, health, satire, vaccines.

Naturopath gets in over his head when pilot asks if anyone on board is a doctor

in News by

PHOENIX, AZ – On a recent flight from Washington to Phoenix, naturopath Josh Axe jumped out of his seat when the captain asked if anyone on board was a doctor. A passenger near the rear of the plan had begun seizing and was unconscious on the floor. The passenger also had a deep laceration on her forehead after hitting it on the seat while falling down.

According to reports, Mr. Axe laid the patient, 30-year old Genna Hill, on her back and asked someone to get him his carry-on bag. He apparently tried applying several different essential oils to the patient with no success. It was at this point that Axe declared the patient’s chakras were completely out of sync and he needed healing crystals stat.

“No one really knew what he was talking about,” said one passenger. “He kept asking for healing rocks and muttering about subluxations or something.”

Eventually one of the other passengers, a medical receptionist, mentioned to Mr. Axe that maybe he should apply some pressure to her head wound to help stop the bleeding. She also told Axe that he shouldn’t move her neck around so much and perhaps move her onto her side. It was at this point that Axe sank back onto his heels and declared “I think we lost her.”

Moments later the woman came to and slowly sat up with help from the medical receptionist, who was holding a towel on her head wound.

According to witnesses, Axe then rushed in and helped the woman to her seat, explaining that he had probably just saved her life.

 

  • dosssva

    Satire?

    • JammaBeanz

      Gods I hope so!

    • Of course. 🙂

    • Rolf Kristensen

      Are you beeing ironic, asking that? :-/

    • Claire

      “The Spudd Times: Science, Health, Satire”

  • Andy Keher

    Those chakras can be a bitch.

  • Mike Bromley

    yeah, in the same way Obama just saved the Planet.

  • Linda Rosa

    Brilliant!

  • Øyvind Halskau

    Naturopath are MDs in the same way as unicorns are horses.

    • Susan Cluett

      I’m stealing that!

      • Øyvind Halskau

        Be my guest, I think I lifted it form somewhere, anyway.

    • Kurt Ferre

      I’m stealing that, too!!

    • Shari

      Some naturopathic doctors are better than MDs when it comes to chronic diseases and autoimmune conditions but NDs are not trained in emergency medicine. Plus Josh Axe is NOT a naturopathic doctor. He has a doctorate in Chiropractic and one in natural medicine but that does NOT make him a ND.

      • Chris

        Please tell us how NDs are better than MDs/ODs are with chronic conditions like Type 1 diabetes, obstructive hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, cystic fibrosis and epilepsy.

        My son has HCM, should I have been taking him to an ND instead of the cardiologist? Would treatment from an ND have prevented him getting open heart surgery at the Mayo Clinic to remove the excess heart muscle?

        • Yikes, don’t encourage her to post more nonsense!

          She probably couldn’t spell cardiomyopathy, much less describe the exact crystals and oils needed to treat it.

          • Chris

            Sorry. When you have a kid with real medical issues, it makes the claim that this magic can cure such and such more annoying, especially it gets pushed at me in real life to often.

            I had no idea that Josh Axe was a real person. I looked him, and his is still “Not a Doctor.”

          • I agree. I hope my comment didn’t come across the wrong way. It was just a shot at the ignorance of the OP.

          • Chris

            No worries. I remember years ago I was at a function, and during lunch I sat next to some woman who claimed to be a “neurologist.” I told her I had dealt with a few over the years due to my son’s seizures and speech disorder. She then suggested I try cranialsacral therapy.

            I almost choked on my peach, and struggled to explain that a light head massage was not going to repair damage in Broca’s nor Wernicke’s areas of the brain. Turned out she was a chiropractor.

          • Lol, chiropractor. I’m guessing that if I was going to make up a fake profession, I probably wouldn’t try to give any advice based on said fake profession over dinner. I think George Costanza once got away with faking a marine biologist, but that’s probably pretty rare. And a tv show. And a comedy.

          • Chris

            Oh, come on! Chiropractors do it all the time. In full Dunning-Kruger manner they make all sorts of claims beyond their inadequate education.

            Twenty some odd years ago when I was a mother of two boys under age four I bought a “Mothering” magazine. I realized it was a worthless rag when I saw ads for chiropractors claiming they could cure ear infections. I tossed the rag into the recycling bin, and from then on (especially after seeing their “Commune” years later on teh internets) dubbed them “sMothering.”

          • I have to admit, I have a hard time not injecting my opinion when someone tells me they need to go see their chiropractor.

        • HarryWiggs

          Crickets. Its all they respond with.

      • Øyvind Halskau

        So he was a chimera instead of a unicorn? Whatever bogus education he has doesn’t really matter. He clearly was deluded to think his whichcraft would work.

  • Chris Clark

    I would like to see some sort of external reference for this story. Naturopaths are quacks, but I can’t find any other source for this story and I typically like to have some sort of verification when passing on information.

  • Mrs Crewe

    He should be done under the trades description act. There are good Drs and bad Drs but anyone who thinks essential oils are anything other than an out right scam is not a Dr they are a liar.

  • Hilary’s Black Dad

    Thank Jesus for sefless medical professionals such as Dr Axe. This ungrateful woman should be thankful he saved her life!

  • HarryWiggs

    Not enuff desks in the Alpha Quadrant on which to pound my head….😣

  • Tony

    Please tell me Science Post is a satire site. This article sounds like it came straight out of The Onion.

    • Chris

      Go to the top of this page and look under the title: “The Science Post.” Now what are the three little words under it? You may also want to check out what it says on the bottom of this page.

      • Tony
  • Warren Lauzon

    The woman obviously fell in the first place because the Ley Lines of the plane were misaligned. Sue the airline.

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