ATLANTA, GA – The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced today that they are working on a new vaccine to treat Morgellons disease. Morgellons is classified as ‘a delusional infestation, a psychiatric condition characterized by an unshakable but erroneous belief that one’s skin is infested with bugs or parasites.’ However, researchers still believe a vaccine could help some patients.
“We are developing a vaccine composed mostly of water,” said Dr. Ferdinand Magalhães, lead researcher of the study. “It is going to be a placebo vaccine, but we are hoping people who suffer from Morgellons will react positively anyway.”
Dr. Magalhães also noted that the CDC may add some mercury or aluminum just to keep up appearances. “The American people expect the CDC to have ingredients in vaccines that some people wrongly feel are dangerous. So we will be adding some mercury, formaldehyde and aluminum just to keep the anti-vaccers and conspiracy theorists happy.”
The CDC is asking volunteers with Morgellons to come forward and volunteer for the trial. “We are hoping for a large response for the trial. When you put the time, money and effort into a trial like this but then don’t get a lot of volunteers signing up, it can really get under your skin” said Dr. Magalhães.
