Christian man forced to stone entire staff to death after they work on Sunday

science, health, satire, vaccines.

MEMPHIS, TE – A man is facing multiple murder charges after he allegedly stoned his entire staff to death for coming in to work over the weekend.

Steven Hamm is a 42 year-old self-proclaimed evangelist and prophet. He was also a low level manager at Sunrise Computing Company, a small software developer with only 6 employees. Earlier this week, Hamm got wind that the other 5 employees had all come in to catch up on work over the weekend, working almost 9 hours on Sunday alone.

Hamm apparently reacted calmly, got up and went out to his car.

According to police, “the suspect went to his car to get his bag of “stoning rocks” and came back up to the office. He then proceeded to call each employee one at a time into his office. Once they were inside, the suspect struck them multiple times with large rocks until they were killed.”

Hamm is facing the possibility of life in prison or the death penalty, as Tennessee is one of 31 states which performs executions.

“I don’t regret anything! I was doing the Lords work! I sent those heathens down to hell where they belong!” yelled Hamm on his way into the station. “I was following the bible, the word of God!”

At last report, Hamm was concerned about his prison uniform being made of more than one type of fabric.


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