ATLANTA, GA – After visiting article upon article on Facebook and various news media outlets, the CDC has decided to replace their doctors and scientists with internet commenters.
Since internet commenters routinely seem to know more than learned PhD’s and MD’s, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has decided to hire them instead – in an effort to save money.
“We routinely encounter commenters on the internet who seem to know more than any doctor or scientist,” explained CDC administrator, Susan Harold. “Since none of them have advanced degrees, they are much cheaper to hire. We are hoping their expertise and extensive Google and YouTube experience can really benefit us here at the CDC.”
Other federal agencies are planning on following suit with both the FDA and NIH currently searching the internet for the best and brightest conspiracy theorists and health experts.
Reports indicate that “Vaxx=Death” and “ChemtrailzTuth” are the first two commenters to be offered positions with the Center.