ATLANTA, GA – The CDC is reportedly working on a new set of childhood vaccines which would eliminate the use of needles, one of the scariest parts of getting vaccinated for children.
“We have an oral polio vaccine and besides the whole causing cancer thing, it works really well,” said CDC scientist Dr. Hank Scorpio. “We are very close to creating oral versions of all of our current childhood vaccines, plus we were able to add fluoride to them as well and kids will need to gargle with the vaccine before swallowing.”
As you can imagine, anti-vaccine and anti-fluoride (which go hand in hand) advocates are outraged at the idea.
“My son got cancer and autism from vaccines and was turned gay by fluoride; there is nothing these monsters won’t do.” – Karen from Facebook.
“Fluoride has ruined almost as many lives as vaccines.” – Karen from Twitter.
“I can’t pronounce fluoride. And I like to speak to the manager.” – Karen from Instagram
