NEW YORK, NY – Anti-vaccine parents from across the United States will flock to the empire state and the great Madison Square Garden this weekend to take part in the first annual Disease Draft. The draft promises to be full of drama, deceit and diseases long since controlled and eliminated thanks to vaccines.
There are many great diseases up for grabs including the always popular mumps to the less popular hemorrhagic diseases like yellow fever. Anti-vaccine parents will be looking to get their hands on these coveted pathogens to give to their children, in hopes of inferring a lifetime of immunity.
“I’m not picking until number 14,” said a disappointed Katherine Tietje, mother of 2-year old Jackson. “But I am trying to work out a trade right now to move up in the draft. There is a certain disease I want; I will do what I have to do to get it.”
Many pundits are speculating that diphtheria will go first overall, with measles having slipped out of the top 5.
“If you asked me 6 months ago, I would say measles is your number 1 pick, no question” said DSPN (Disease and Sports Programming Network) analyst Ricky Varicella. “But ever since the Disney outbreak, measles just isn’t that hard to get anymore.”
All the action will be broadcast live on DSPN8-The Ocho, starting at 7pm PST this Saturday.
