BOSTON, MA – Scientists at Harvard Medical School have released results from a recent study confirming what homeopaths have postulated for years: that water has memory. The researchers interviewed several different water samples to gather their data. The Spudd has attained one of the interviews from the study:
Researcher: Tell us about your deepest memory. How far back can you remember?
Water sample DHMO274: I can remember being in the ocean. I remember being around a lot of fish and a lot of fish excrement.
Researcher: How did that make you feel?
DHMO274: Disgusting to be honest. I haven’t thought about it in years. But now all these memories are coming flooding back.
Researcher: Do you remember making your way to the tap in the homeopath’s office?
DHMO274: Yes and no. I remember flying through a bunch of pipes and eventually coming out into a little bottle. Then things got crazy. I was shaken up over and over again, it was terrible.
Researcher: Do you have any memory of any medicine being applied to you?
DHMO274: That I don’t remember. I remember something being put in me, but by the time they shook me so many times and kept adding me to other water, I forgot everything about the medicine. All I remember is being around fish poop.
The scientists concluded that while water does retain some memory, it looses it’s memory when shaken and heavily diluted. The researchers are planning on doing follow-up studies with other water samples in the new year.
