Zodiac signs changing, millions forced to convince themselves their new sign describes them perfectly


SPACE – Millions of pseudoscience enthusiasts were shocked to learn that NASA has changed the astrological signs and several people found themselves with a new sign.

“I’ve always been a Libra and always felt that the traits of a Libra describe me perfectly,” said Gina Rodriguez. “Now all of a sudden I’m a Virgo? Fortunately for me I’ve always secretly felt like a bit of a Virgo, so it must be that the stars decided I was more Virgo than Libra.”

Rodriguez is not alone either, as millions of people were forced to alter how their astrological sign speaks to them personally and describes them to a T.

“Now that I’m a Taurus, I’m realizing how reliable and patient I am, just like the sign describes,” explains Marsha Verdon, crazy person.

However, not everyone agrees with the new signs and feels that the whole thing is getting blown out of proportion. Phil Plait, a science writer and pharma shill explains:


First off, NASA did not “update the astrological signs”. Second, the constellations haven’t changed. And third, Ophiuchus is an ancient constellation, identified by the Greeks thousands of years ago.

So what’s the deal? Well, before we even get started, keep this in mind: astrology isn’t science; it’s nonsense. It’s been tested 10 ways to Sunday and every time it fails. Even astrologers have come up with tests for it, and it has failed those. Astrology doesn’t work.  – Phil Plait


As Plait explains, the new sign Ophiuchus, has actually been around for a long time and on top of that Zodiac signs don’t actually mean anything nor describe ones personality.

Yah, tell that to a stubborn Taurus!

Going forward, we expect that everything will be fine and people will continue to believe that any and all characteristics and horoscopes about their sign are personally about them.

Although that may just be because I’m a Gemini and full of optimism.


Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.