The pros and cons of having a gluten-free, organic Thanksgiving


 

Pros

  1. Feeling of being superior to your savage, gluten-eating neighbors
  2. Less family will show up
  3. More room left to fill up on alcohol
  4. Less chance of falling asleep while watching football
  5. Good for the economy as guests will buy fast-food after leaving

 

Cons

  1. More leftovers to clean up as guests refuse to eat bland food
  2. Risk of guests putting food in napkins or feeding dog under table
  3. Disappointing several family members
  4. Annoying Uncle may not fall asleep after meal
  5. Costs twice as much as a normal Thanksgiving dinner

 

Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.