Breaking News: Trace amounts of Covfefe found in childhood vaccines

Breaking News: Trace amounts of Covfefe found in childhood vaccines

WASHINGTON – In a breaking story coming out of Washington, officials have announced that they have found traces of the mysterious “Covfefe” in some childhood vaccines.

“We expect find trace amounts of mercury, glyphosate, fetuses, all the usual stuff but not covfefe,” said a CDC official. “This is very disturbing news as we don’t yet fully understand the ramifications or side effects of covfefe.”

President Trump was quick to respond to the news and the negative press surrounding the finding:

trump covfefe


Researchers have yet to announce what they plan on doing to combat the current covfefe epidemic.

More news as it becomes available.


  • Abner Scobb


  • Kathy Satankitty Stearns


  • DeeBeth

    vaccines are killers and covfefe is not. I don’t like the reference…

    • RB

      (citation needed)

    • Daniele Cereda

      Measle is a killer, vaccines are not killers.

    • James Mastin

      Covfefe isn’t a real thing, and this is satire. Get a grip

    • Lee Russell

      You obviously don’t have a clue about the science behind vaccination so please keep your opinions to your ignorant self.
      Also Covfefe is a made up thing.

      • Neo

        Pharma science is not real science.
        Pharma science is one of the most fradulant easily manipulated payed for sciences.
        Pharma science is actually junk science.
        Don’t confuse real science with this shit show.

        • rockfish153

          And you have empirical evidence to show a comparison to prove that you aren’t talking out of your ass?

          • Neo

            There is more evidence proving that Pharma vaccine science is junk science than you proving that it’s not!
            Interesting thing is….you know that yourself…lol!

        • Voice of Reason

          Clearly you are not very knowledgeable on the subject of immunology. Do you think “pharma” invented the science or discovered vaccination? Not the case.

      • Angelina Livolsi

        How dare you.

        Covfefe is real.

    • Brserk

      Can’t tell if you’re trolling or legitimately stupid….

    • Andy Field

      What a shame you can’t vaccinate against stupidity!

      • Neo

        Even if there was a vaccine for stupidity in your case… wouldn’t work anyways.
        Vaccines don’t do shit except destroy the immune system and your brain.

        • Voice of Reason

          So what destroyed your brain?

    • Neo

      Yes they are.
      They have always been a killer and continue killing and injuring everyday.

      • rockfish153

        Citation needed.

      • Voice of Reason

        Measles? Yes, it is a killer, as are many vaccine preventable illnesses.

    • Angela Nedella

      Yeah! What did measles, mumps, or rubella ever do to anyone?!?

      • Byron Cook

        Kill them?

    • rockfish153

      Citations of evidence for your assertions would go a long way at this point.

  • Judy M Simpson


  • Stephen

    Satire is too ‘scientific’ for the stoopid.

  • Lisa Parrey
  • Christina Irene

    maybe he means to say: Coffee, he probably needs some at some point

  • OzzyRobyn

    This explains the autism link…..

  • Gary Davies

    I like mine with cream and sugar. If I leave out the fatty cream and refined sugar, is drinking it OK?

  • LoveMonkee

    I just attended my 20-year High School Covfefe reunion. A good time was had by all.