“It’s not my fault!” said an angry and defensive Mike Hewton. “Sarah is over there in a ponytail and those cute glasses and I got distracted. This is all her fault.”
There has been a dramatic rise in industrial accidents in science labs across the country recently, mostly due to female scientists being too attractive.
“First of all they have big brains, which is an immediate turn on” said Dr. Richard Fanh of The American Academy of Science. “Then you add in those white lab coats and safety glasses and oh my…it’s impossible not to be distracted.”
Many sexist scientists are calling for an end to females in the labs, citing safety concerns. “If they aren’t distracting you by bending over lighting a Bunsen burner, then they are falling in love with you and crying all the time” said Dr. Jim Hunt, sexist chemist and single male. “There really is no room in science for females.”
Feminists the world over are flabbergasted at the apparent blame being put on women for being “too attractive” in the science labs.
“It really is ridiculous” said a sexy Dr. Nancy Trinn. “It’s not our fault that men can’t concentrate hard enough on their work to stop it from blowing up.”
Many university and research centers are reportedly looking to hire gay male scientists as a short term solution.