Local man runs marathon to impress girl, immediately regrets decision


SAN DIEGO, CA – Area man Heath Ryan, 27, recently began dating Dawn Peterson, a 26 year-old fitness instructor. Heath had always considered himself somewhat of an athlete but never a runner and certainly not as accomplished a runner as Dawn.

“I know she is really into running and fitness so I decided to surprise her and run in the San Diego Marathon,” explained Ryan. “I didn’t really train as much as I should have and I had a few beers the night before.”

According to witnesses Ryan made it to around the 4 mile mark before things took a turn for the worse.

“He started dropping back and walking, then began to grab his side and lean over,” said onlooker Betsy Burns. “He was asking where the people with cups of water were and we had to tell him they weren’t for another few miles. He looked pretty dejected.”

Ryan then set a new goal: make it to the water.

He walked the next two and half miles and managed to get a cup of water and continue on. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending how you look at it, Dawn was unable to attend the marathon with him.

“I thank God every day that Dawn wasn’t there,” said Ryan. “After I walked to the eight mile mark and was in last place by quite a large margin, I decided to fake twist my ankle and call for medical help. I actually did need some medical attention as I was about to throw up and pass out.”

As of press time, Dawn was reportedly impressed that Ryan tried to run a marathon and felt bad for him that he had the misfortune of twisting his ankle.


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