NEW YORK, NY – The Apple store in downtown New York City is already started to see a line form outside its doors in anticipation of the new iPhone 7 being released. Rumors are swirling that the new phone will be available sometime this summer.
“I’ve been one of the first people to get the newest iPhone every time it comes out,” said Jeff Cannon. “I can’t wait for the 7, I think its going to be the best one yet by far.”
Documents obtained by The Science Post show that the new iPhone will be strikingly similar to the iPhone 6, with the only possible difference being the earphone plugin going on the side.
“From what we can tell the new phone has the exact same specs as the previous model,” said Julie Temple from TechFeed. “The same size, the same processor, the same everything. It’s not really a new phone at all.”
One Apple executive, who spoke to The Science Post under promise of anonymity, said “We really are out of ideas to be honest. But at the end of the day we basically said ‘fuck it’, people are going to buy our phones no matter what we do (or don’t do).”
Reports indicate that the new iPhone 7 will retail for $999 or $499 and one kidney.