In a breaking news release from The Daily Prophet earlier today, scientists concluded that the world of Harry Potter is actually more factual and realistic than the world Piers Morgan lives in.
“When looking at Mr. Morgan’s canon of work, it is clear he lives in his own little fantasy world,” said Dr. Albus Smith. “The Harry Potter Universe is actually much more realistic and scientifically accurate.”
Morgan has been known to go off the rails against anyone who disagrees with him or doesn’t live in his fantasy world, most recently JK Rowling. Morgan, who is a big fan of Donald Trump, racism and misogyny, was recently handed a beat down on Twitter via Rowling.
“I’m under attack!” Morgan told The Science Post. “All these people who fact check what I have said or done are just out to get me. Plus no one really liked all those Harry Potter books. Worst selling books ever. FACT.”
Scientists examining the two worlds again concluded that Mr. Morgan is perhaps the sole inhabitant and fan of his fantasy land, while the Harry Potter Universe is beloved by many.
“We have proved, using the very science that Mr. Morgan hates so much, that his reality is completely out of touch with anything resembling rational thought. The conclusion to our paper is borrowed directly from Billy Madison as it perfectly sums up what people are trying to say to Morgan:
Mr. Morgan, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.