GSK Pharmaceuticals moves money out of statin drug research to focus on paying internet trolls

science, health, satire, vaccines.

BRENTFORD, LONDON, UK – GlaxoSmithKline Pharmaceuticals made a major announcement this morning, announcing they were moving money out the research and development of statin drugs to focus on an increased online troll presence.

“We feel that in 2015, it is important to have pharma shills and pharma trolls all over social media and various news media websites,” said CEO Andrew Witty. “We are moving some money around within the company and we estimate our new pharma shill and pharma troll budget should top out at around $345 million for 2015.”

Pharma Trolls are everywhere on the internet these days, crushing down free thinkers and crunchy mommy bloggers who go against the mainstream.

“My site and Facebook page is infected with them,” said Modern Alternative Mom, Kate Tietje. “Luckily I have the almighty Ban Hammer, but even then it turns into a game of whack-a-mole.”

Many other natural, green, organic, clean, wholesome bloggers agree with MAM’s assessment.

“When I post something on my page, I don’t want to have to answer to people asking for “proof” and “evidence”. That is completely disrespectful and a violation of my rights. They should just take what I say at face value and never question it, that is my first amendment right” said Vani Hari, aka The Food Babe. “These big pharma shills and big pharma trolls are just a waste of nitrogen.”

The new funding it set to kick in next week, so keep an eye on your favorite pseudoscience, conspiracy laden anti-vaccine blog for more anonymous trolls pushing the big pharma, government mandated agenda.

Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.