A botched lethal injection in Texas has catapulted the issue of U.S. capital punishment back into the international spotlight, raising new questions about the drugs being used and the constitutional protection against cruel and unusual punishment. Precisely what happened during the execution of convicted murderer and rapist Clay Lock remains unclear. Witnesses described the man convulsing and writhing on the gurney, as well as struggling to speak shortly after he was injected with what supposed to be a lethal combination of medications.
A committee commissioned by Texas Governor Rick Perry announced this week that in response to the botched procedure, all future executions would take place using the “GVAFG cocktail.” According to the report, this is an acronym for “Gluten, Vaccines, Aspartame, Fluoride, and GMOs.”
“We are confident by feeding our death row inmates a diet rich in gluten and GMOs, putting Aspartame and fluoride in their water, and making sure they are up to date on their vaccines, death will be swift and sure,” Governor Perry told The Spudd. “These are the most toxic chemicals known to mankind and will help avoid tragedies like that experienced by Mr. Lock.”