Breaking: Homeopath overdoses in horrible drowning accident

homeopath drowning

In a cruel twist of fate a local homeopathic “doctor” has drowned at his summer home on Lake Michigan, or as some people are calling it – an overdose. Ron Gilbert was a practicing homeopath for over 20 years, amassing a small fortune selling water-based placebos to desperate patients.

While spending the weekend in his summer home Gilbert was relaxing in his paddle boat when disaster struck: the boat hit a large protruding rock causing it to capsize. Mr. Gilbert was unable to fight the current and ultimately lost his life.

“It’s tragic” says fellow homeopath Dan Allman. “To be killed by the very thing you sell every day. It’s truly horrible.”

Gilbert was known among his peers as avid outdoorsman, a die-hard science-denier and budding amateur astrologist.

A memorial service is being held at the Gilbert summer home on the second day past the summer equinox when the Moon lines up with Venus. Taxis will be on hand to drive the guests home as homeopathic beers (0.000000001% alcohol) will be served.

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