WASHINGTON, DC – Reports indicate that although President Trump was given a clean bill of health from his physician, he did not perform a prostate exam on the president.
“The President will be seeing his protologist, Dr. Martin Van Nostrand early next week for the second part of his physical exam,” said a White House staff member. “It is important for all men, especially the President, to have their shitholes checked regularly.”
Prostate cancer is the most common cancer found in men in The United States, but is treatable if caught early enough.
“Prostate cancer is a real and potentially deadly problem for men,” said Dr. Van Nostrand. “We encourage all men to get their shitholes checked regularly as early detection is key.”
While there are treatments for prostate cancer, most alternative medical practitioners agree that they are unnecessary.
“Cancer, including prostate cancer, is easily treated and eliminated with coffee enemas and baking soda,” said naturopath Paul Therrault. “Big Pharma wants us all to get cancer so we have to take their expensive treatments. They make more money treating a disease than curing it. FACT.”
President Trump apparently passed his first exam with flying colors and has the same height and weight as many professional athletes.