Operation Jade Helm begins with mass vaccination of Texas, Utah

In what some are describing as the largest military operation this side of the Mississippi to occur in the last two weeks, The Spudd has learned the true intention of the United States Federal Government in the next four weeks: Mass vaccination of all vaccine “skeptical” persons and their children.

In documents released by a Freedom of Information Act request, the Joint Chiefs of Staff of the US Armed Forces discussed the possibility of disguising a mass vaccination campaign as a mass exercise disguised as a takeover of Texas disguised as “troll bait” for right-wing conspiracy theorists.

In the documents, the campaign is described of consisting of three phases. Phase one is to make the most fringe elements of the Tea Party and other libertarian outfits collectively lose their minds over the idea that the federal government could come in and take their “precious, precious guns.”

Phase two is to get those people to believe that phase one was a ruse, thus lowering their defenses after a couple of weeks without incident during the exercises taking place in remote parts of Texas and Utah, but more specifically Texas because “those people are nuts.”

Then phase three would kick in, where the unvaccinated hoards would be rounded up, taken to nearby desolated Wal-Mart superstores and given all their vaccinations.

“At this time, we have no comment,” said the US Army public relations officer Sgt. Robert E. Jenner. “This exercise is intended to improve our readiness to confront threats in harsh environments. That is all,” he said when pressed for comment. When it was asked of him if a crunchy mom’s club in Midland Texas could be considered a harsh environment, Sgt. Jenner said, “Oh, dear God, yes!” Then briskly walked away.

“They’ll have to take my guns from me before they lay a hand on my child,” said Patricia “Pat” Meedawn. When asked which she would be more afraid to lose to the government, her guns or her child, Mrs. Meedawn said, “My access to Google, of course!”

At publishing time, neither General P. Aullafit or Admiral Pan Richards, the field commanders during this joint exercise, could be reached for further comment.

Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.