New raw food restaurant 'Raw Raw Rasputin' coming to California

LONG BEACH, CA – A new raw food restaurant catering to anti-vaccers and paleo diet enthusiasts will open its doors this fall in Long Beach, California. The restaurant will serve only raw fruits and vegetables, undercooked hamburgers, raw chicken breasts and raw milk.

“Our salads will all be infected with e.coli, and our undercooked hamburgers and raw chicken quesadillas should give all of our patrons a really great chance to get natural immunity to salmonella” said owner Bob Schneider.

Raw food aficionados are excited about the prospect of a restaurant completely catering to their way of life. “I love this idea!” said raw foodie Jen Summer. “I am just getting over my natural immunity bout with campylobacter, so I am excited to see what I can get next.”

It is unclear at this time whether the restaurant has all the proper permits to open up in a few months, so don’t be surprised if you never see “Raw Raw Rasputin” ever open it’s doors.


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