New HPV vaccine likely to create race of super-humans

In a previous story here on The Spudd, we postulated that the HPV vaccine may be giving young girls and boys super powers. This stems from dumpster-diving into the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) and finding that someone had reported they turned into the Incredible Hulk after receiving their HPV vaccine (this is the same database which anti-vaccers use to prove vaccines are dangerous). That was the vaccine which only covered 4 strains…

News broke this week of a newly approved HPV vaccine that will cover 9 strains of HPV. Does this mean that we will see a 56% increase in girls and boys getting super powers? While that is impossible to predict, we will go ahead and assume the answer is yes.

“We are very concerned about this, very worried for our children,” said Professor Chuck Xavier. “No one has researched a link between HPV vaccines and super-powers. No one.”

While scientifically literate people applaud and support this new vaccine, anti-science and anti-vaccine advocates are of course worried.

“We have thousands of undocumented anecdotes of girls dying and being injured from this vaccine. And now they are making it twice as powerful? Thanks Big pHARMa,” said the homophobic administrator of VacTruth.

So if you want to greatly reduce the chances of your little one getting cancer and maybe even get a super-power, we suggest rolling up your sleeves and getting the vaccine.

Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.