I’m not anti-parachute, I’m pro safe-parachute

DENVER, CO – People who argue for parachutes to be as safe as possible often get labeled as “anti-parachute” which is simply not true says Jake Carrey, safe parachute activist.

“I am not against parachutes, I think they have done the world some good. But why do they need to be so dangerous? Why do they need to have so many chemicals? These are the questions we want answered,” explains Carrey.

Parachutes have been hailed by scientists the world over as one of the greatest gravity interventions in history. Since the introduction of parachutes, deaths from jumping out of airplanes have taken a dramatic drop. However, anti-parachuters argue that deaths due to gravity were declining before parachutes were widely available.

“Where’s the evidence?” asks James Calthrop, blogger at Natural Chutes. “There has never been a parachute vs. no-parachute study. Never. What are they so afraid of? If these questions don’t get answered soon, people are going to start waking up. Big Parachute is going to free fall.”

Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.