HEAVEN – In a startling appearance this week, God revealed Himself to the world to declare that the immune system he designed in his own image was in fact not perfect. He encouraged everyone to get vaccinated as per health authorities recommendations.
“I gave man an immune system and I also gave him a brain in which to help that system,” explained the Holy Father. “Man has made many great scientific strides, one of the greatest being vaccines. Stop saying your immune system is perfect. Get your me damn vaccines people.”
This is a very rare appearance by the man upstairs, who usually only shows himself to devote followers and Republican politicians.
“I’m really getting sick of people using me as an excuse to leave their children unprotected against diseases” said an visibly shaken God. “Who do you think gave those scientists and doctors those big ol brains? That’s right: this guy.”
God could not be reached for further comment.
