Stonyfield Yogurt, Goop, to be honored at this year’s Anti-Science Awards


LOS ANGELES, CA – This year’s anti-science awards which are expected to draw a who’s who of anti-science companies and celebrities, has just announced that Goop will receive a special lifetime achievement award. It is also rumored that new kid on the block Stonyfield Yogurt is the favorite to walk away with some hardware as well.

Goop, the mother of all anti-science companies, has been a staple at the annual award show for years. Gwyneth Paltrow has received too many awards to count and this year her company will be given the prestigious Jennifer A. McCarthy lifetime achievement award.

Paltrow was unavailable for comment but did reach out to us via a psychic medium and we think she is excited and honored to be in the same sentence as McCarthy, one of her heroes.

The other big winner is expected to be Stonyfield Yogurt, who is rumored to be running away with Best New Fear Mongering and among the favorites for the coveted Most Science Illiterate award.

“Look, we don’t want to count our free-range chickens before they hatch, but we really have done a great job in setting ourselves apart when it comes to fear mongering,” said Stonyfield CEO Gary Hirshberg. “I mean using children to scare customers about GMOs and getting them to believe our products are safer? That was pretty genius.”

The awards will be given out this Sunday to coincide with the lunar cycle, and Goop will be offering customers the opportunity to watch the ceremony via livestream on their website for $699.


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SP Team

Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.