Modern Alternative Mama and other mommy bloggers sweep Nobel Prizes

Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

In a widely anticipated announcement, several “mommy bloggers” took home Nobel Prizes in medicine, chemistry, physics, and economics. Kate (Modern Alternative Mama) and Sarah (Healthy Home Economist) won for their work in medicine. This prize is made all the more impressive by their complete lack of medical training or credentials.

According to the Nobel committee:

“Kate and Sarah have refuted central tenets of medicine which have been unquestioned for decades in essentially every field. By pointing out the dangers of vaccines, Tylenol, statins, hospital births, psychiatric medications, and antibiotics, they have revolutionized immunology, pediatrics, obstetrics, cardiology, infectious diseases, and psychiatry. Usually, the winner of the prize makes a significant contribution in only one of these areas. ”

Megan (Living Whole) won the prize in chemistry for her work exposing the flaws in vitamin K, a shot formerly given to newborns to prevent bleeding, as well as her work with essential oils. According to the Nobel committee:

“Megan taught us all about the dangers of vitamin K, and in so doing revolutionized our understanding of the basic biochemical pathways in the human body. Additionally, her work with essential oils completely elucidated the amazing, undiscovered properties of these all-healing oils.”

Louise (Fearless Parent) won the prize in physics for her pioneering work exposing the dangers of electromagnetic radiation in everyday household devices and through her advocacy of Earthing, whereby people can absorb positive energy from the earth by walking barefoot.

According to the Nobel committee,

“Fearless Parent, Louise taught us all to fear every single electronic household object. Her unique insights into physics transformed formerly benign items into objects of dread and terror. She is indeed fearless. Regarding Earthing, prior to her blog, walking barefoot in the grass was a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Now we know that healing earth electrons enter our bodies and heal us with their natural vibrations.”

The committee also noted that Louise won the Medicine prize last year for her groundbreaking work teaching women to be fearful of bras and their potential to cause cancer.

In a unique statement, the committee collectively praised the women saying, “Not only have the mommy bloggers made important scientific discoveries, they have revolutionized the process of science itself. Previously scientists would make discoveries and base their beliefs on these findings. These mommy bloggers have taught us that this paradigm is completely backwards. They have the unique ability to find a part of established medicine, chemistry, or physics they wish to be false, and then find the evidence that confirms their desired belief. This is how science should proceed moving forward.”

In an even more unusual twist, all of the bloggers shared the prize in Economics “for their powerful ability to turn their blogs into lucrative cash cows for themselves via product sales and advertising.”

Proud member of the flock. Possibly evil.