HOUSTON, TX – In what as being heralded as the greatest act of humanitarian aid since Jesus, Joel Osteen has finally opened the doors to his mega church in Houston to those in need.
“I was apprehensive at first if I’m honest,” explained Osteen. “But once I realized I may be able to get some money out if this, I knew what I had to do.”
Osteen has also set up a fund which people can donate to to help with the relief effort of his church. He pledges to only take 50% of the money for himself.
“I feel like I deserve all of the money of course, but that wouldn’t be very Christian of me,” he says. “I am going to give at least 50% of the funds we raise to actual people in need.”
Osteen has been portrayed as nothing short of a savior throughout Hurricane Harvey and for good reason. His mega church can hold thousands of people and it only took him a matter of days and only a few fake reasons to not open the church before he did so.
As Osteen explained to The Science Post:
“I often find myself asking ‘What Would A Grifter and Con Artist Do?’ That is where I get most of the motivation for what I do in life. That and Jesus of course.”
Truly a God among men.