NEW YORK, NY – A woman in New York was recently diagnosed with cancer even though her astrological sign is a Capricorn. This has many pseudoscientists baffled, the least of which is Dr. Mehmet Oz.
“This is one for the record books for sure, ” quipped Oz. “We know that astrological signs play a very important role in health, so I am very concerned that a Capricorn has been diagnosed with cancer. That is obviously much more prevalent in Cancers.”
Dr. Oz made headlines a short time ago when he claimed that your astrological sign can have an impact on your health outcomes. While not founded in any type of medicine or reality, he insisted in its truth none the less.
“I’m a real doctor you know,” asserted Oz. “That means people should believe whatever I tell them about health and medicine, even if it isn’t grounded in truth.”
Oz has come under fire before when he threatened to blow the lid off the Big pHaRMa cartel when he consistently promoted miracle cures on his syndicated talk show.
According to sources, Dr. Oz is actually a very good thoracic surgeon which makes his claims all the more incredulous. Upon further investigation it was determined that Oz did not make enough money from his surgeon job and wanted to make a bunch more hocking snakeoil.