SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Elaine Smith is beside herself with grief after she believes that this years annual flu vaccine changed her son from a normal homosexual young man into a sexually perverse heterosexual.
“Jamie was always a fun, energetic and very caring young man,” recalls Mrs. Smith. “But since this years flu vaccine he is completely different. He is whistling at girls as they walk by, watching hours of pornography and getting bitterly angry anytime a “slut” doesn’t agree to go out with him.”
While science has proven that vaccines cannot change ones sexual orientation, it is not an unheard of claim in the anti-vaccine world. In recent years, the anti-vaccine website Vac Truth argued that vaccines were altering the hormones of young men and turning them gay; that is why, according to them, we are seeing “so many gay kids now.”
Mrs. Smith has brought her son to their family doctor who assured her that the flu vaccine had no effect on Jamie’s sexual preference. However, Mrs. Smith is still planning on enrolling Jamie in a “gay-camp” designed to change heterosexual men back into homosexuals.