Scientists from The Smithsonian Institution announced today news of the discovery of a new species of Homo, the Homo Phobius. The Homo Phobius is said to roam parts of the southern United States and several middle eastern countries, most notably Iran.
“This is a huge discovery,” said Dr. Chris Hyndman. “The most recognizable Homo Phobius specimens are probably Kim Davis, Mike Huckabee and all members of the Westboro Baptist Church.”
Scientists are hoping to examine the new species more closely but have been met with strong residence from the Homo Phobius population.
“We have reached out to various Homo Phobius’ but to date have not had any positive responses,” said Dr. Hyndman. “We believe it is due to the fact that one of our office administrators here at the museum is gay.”
More updates to follow as they become available.