Whole Foods Inc. has announced they will begin to sell an all-new, recently discovered, all-organic vegetable called the Kallero. The Kallero looks and tastes very similar to a potato, but Whole Foods claims it has twice the nutrients and also contains cancer fighting properties.

“The Kallero is a huge breakthrough and a huge discovery for the human race,” said Whole Foods CEO, Alan Krumwiede. “The new super vegetable will go on sale next month at a very reasonable price of only $19.99 a pound.”

It is still unclear exactly where Whole Foods found the now famed Kallero, but some believe it may actually be either a GMO or simply a potato.

“No scientist on earth has heard of this vegetable,” said Biotech Engineer Dr. Harold Sheppard. “Either Whole Foods has access to different vegetables than the rest of the planet, or they simply made it up. Personally, I think it’s just a potato.”

Whole Foods in denying any idea that the Kallero is either of the two.

“A GMO? No way. We would never willfully poison our customers and put them at risk for the host of diseases GMO’s have been proven to cause. And just because it looks, smells and tastes like a potato, doesn’t mean it is one.”

Anti-GMO, anti-gluten fanatics are apparently already busy pre-ordering the Kallero in bulk.

 

SP Team
Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.