NEW YORK, NY – In a shocking study released today, the University of New York School of Medicine concluded that vaccines are the number one cause of death for Americans.
“We examined over 20 million deaths over the past 5 years and we are very confident in our assertions,” said lead researcher Dr. Andrew Hooker. “If we these people had never received their vaccinations, they would not have lived as long as they had; therefor, we can conclude that vaccinations are indirectly causing millions of deaths across the United States.”
The data are hard to refute as the facts speak for themselves.
“This study is factually correct, although it’s still an odd way to word things,” said big-pharma-controlled-skeptic Borac. “Yes, technically Americans would not be alive long enough to die of things like cancer, heart disease, etc. if they were killed as children by vaccine preventable diseases….”
The study is expected to be picked up by all major conspiracy and pseudo-scientific websites in the coming days.
“I really hopes this opens some peoples eyes and directs their gaze to my online store,” said David Wolfe. “Namaste.”
