LOS ANGELES, CA – In a recent report put out by the California Department of Public Health, the vaccination rate among the nations wealthiest citizens is continuing to decline. As more and more rich parents become more scared of gluten than of diphtheria, they are refusing to vacinate their children.
“Nobody knows my own child better than I do, especially when it comes to their health” said Jennifer Merigold, mother of three. “There is no way my babies are getting shot full of poison. Nothing is too good for my kids, that’s why I spend thousands of dollars a year on alternative medicine. They are perfectly healthy too, especially considering they have all survived the measles.”
As more and more people across the world come down with stupid, the vaccination rates will only continue to drop, experts warn.
“If people weren’t all succumbing to the stupid and alternative medicine salesman, we wouldn’t have to do things like SB277” explained Dr. Mark Francis of the CDC. “Unfortunately, the stupid seems to be catching on and spreading quickly.”
The CDC says the telltale signs of stupid include sharing posts from Natural News, Age of Autism, and other terrible websites as well as using coconut oil and chiropractors to cure your children’s serious injuries.
